He....... is so bloody fed up of looking at you girls and your damn lean off UGG bootz! What is up with that?? Is that how they are suppose to look? Am i missing something? Would it be ok for me to treat my nike air 110's that way... no i dont think so! So why do these girls do it?Today I was walking along the road (in my non lean off work shoes) and to my surprise what do i see yonder.. this twig like figure sporting a pair of UGG/Prime-uggs and they were BATTERED! She was literally walking on the side of them... just take them off... walk bare foot, i aint mad atcha! She was like size -10 so where did the weight come from to do the boots in such a way? The shoes were FINSHED, DONE, WOUNDED whatever u wanna call them. The next time I see any of you lot in uggs that are faded, lean off or rocked with an adidas tracksuit I will take my lighter and set the fury bit inside alight! Ive been arrested before so being arrested for ugg-related attempted murder ah nah nutun! Look at you lot making me get all ethnic up on here!! aghhh man!
She.....personally don't think you can take anyone with 'leaning uggs' seriously! I work alongside chiropodists and although I am not one myself can assure you that it is not healthy for your foot!!!! I mean why do the side of ur ugg boots and the floor need to have a conversation! A conversation the rest of us can hear very clearly 'get out of my space'- says the pavement! No really its completely outrageous and what takes the biscuit is you girls walk around with this display proudly! If times are that hard that you can't buy a new pair! Dum da da da *lightbulb* I have a solution! Buy a pair of unmarked uggs they are cheap and I hear asda's have some on the cheap! For those of u who want the real deal but the credit crunch says no, I suggest you invest in a pair of the said product (unmarked), go to google images, type in uggs and print off the sign and stick it to the back of your boot!
Problem solved!
He and SHE have spoken now friggin listen!!!
Friday, 6 February 2009
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
Serial Facebook Status/Relationship Update Offenders!
Internet connection- CHECK, Facebook account- CHECK, USELESS status update CHECK.
I'm sure all of you have at least 1 friend on facebook who updates their status either 15 times a day or to say something completely useless like ' Linda is about to jump in the bath' Ok- Ten points to Linda for personal hygiene or 'Paul is sleeping'! This type of status really makes my weave loosen. If you were sleeping, you wouldn't be on facebook. Or maybe you are some kind of advanced super human and use the internet whilst sleeping. I think people should treat their status like a bank account, if it don't generate interest it is pretty useless! Now you seriel status offenders how many comments do you get for your dull status? HOW MANY.....TELL ME? Do people comment 'oh thats great Anne, glad to see your about to jump in the bath'. I have officially decided that anyone with useless updates will get deleted. I will make a statement by informing you via your wall as well. No private messages here. I will simply write on your wall 'dear status offender, you are officially relieved of duty and are no longer my friend'. I use facebook for various reasons and the main reason is entertainment. Now tell me after a friggin long day at work why would I want to see your status? Or even better when i am skiving at work, why do I need to see your status? It is useless, pointless and makes me want to slap some status swagger into you!
Don't get me wrong status updates with nothing but dots or smiley faces annoy me not. I just can't stand you offenders who must tell us your every move. God forbid I was a seriel killer, I would be able to create the perfect murder. Ok 6.45 am She said she was sleeping. Let me go over to her house now and kill her! Think about it, we don't need to know when you take a dump or when you go to Tesco's. I actually think the worst status I have ever seen is '(name) is driving'. How silly can you get? Imagine you got pulled over by police for driving whilst using your phone. That status could be used as evidence against you in the courtroom. And believe me facebook has like a trillion MB for storing your updates.
I totally agree with you there sister!!! Go play wid ya pussy and stop talking about your relationship through your status, HE AND SHE ARE NOT INTERESTED!!
These people are just too nuff! telling us they are "going to grannies!" who cares if your going to grannies just flippin' go! You make me wanna fart in my hand and throw it in your face! *anger*
The worst ones for me are the relationship updates??? PLEASE JUST LEAVE IT BLANK! honestly we don't care if u are single, married or open! every minute your popping up in my updates when im trying to spy on other peoples personal business i.e (what friends me and a next buff ting have in common) it just gets me angry! *takes one of his pills*
I mean if you and your dirty lover are going through hard times and you don't know why let me tell you... BECAUSE YOU ARE ON FACEBOOK TOO MUCH! that is why! up on there sharing your business with us all looking for sympathy when what you friends should really be doing is telling you to go call Jeremy kyle cos facebook is not a chat show!
So please we warned if i catch you updating too much i will delete you... status should be nothing but juicy gossip.. like your mum is cheating on your dad and u need advice? or u did a number 2 in a links house and had to use the brush to push the heavy log down! that's what we wanna b hearing!
Oh and lastly another thing that you lot really tick me off with... is this text talking... like "s3xy" i mean you have taken the timeout to use the "3" why not just put the "e" what is wrong with you?? really? its not sexy, or cute! Any male or female that finds that attractive is an immigrant! YES I SAID IT! your not legal so get off my facebook... better still take your fake beige passport and papers and get out of my country! hahahahaha..... I'm joking... you can stay... just pay taxes like i do!
OK so HE and SHE have ranted....
you have all been warned!
I'm sure all of you have at least 1 friend on facebook who updates their status either 15 times a day or to say something completely useless like ' Linda is about to jump in the bath' Ok- Ten points to Linda for personal hygiene or 'Paul is sleeping'! This type of status really makes my weave loosen. If you were sleeping, you wouldn't be on facebook. Or maybe you are some kind of advanced super human and use the internet whilst sleeping. I think people should treat their status like a bank account, if it don't generate interest it is pretty useless! Now you seriel status offenders how many comments do you get for your dull status? HOW MANY.....TELL ME? Do people comment 'oh thats great Anne, glad to see your about to jump in the bath'. I have officially decided that anyone with useless updates will get deleted. I will make a statement by informing you via your wall as well. No private messages here. I will simply write on your wall 'dear status offender, you are officially relieved of duty and are no longer my friend'. I use facebook for various reasons and the main reason is entertainment. Now tell me after a friggin long day at work why would I want to see your status? Or even better when i am skiving at work, why do I need to see your status? It is useless, pointless and makes me want to slap some status swagger into you!
Don't get me wrong status updates with nothing but dots or smiley faces annoy me not. I just can't stand you offenders who must tell us your every move. God forbid I was a seriel killer, I would be able to create the perfect murder. Ok 6.45 am She said she was sleeping. Let me go over to her house now and kill her! Think about it, we don't need to know when you take a dump or when you go to Tesco's. I actually think the worst status I have ever seen is '(name) is driving'. How silly can you get? Imagine you got pulled over by police for driving whilst using your phone. That status could be used as evidence against you in the courtroom. And believe me facebook has like a trillion MB for storing your updates.
I totally agree with you there sister!!! Go play wid ya pussy and stop talking about your relationship through your status, HE AND SHE ARE NOT INTERESTED!!
These people are just too nuff! telling us they are "going to grannies!" who cares if your going to grannies just flippin' go! You make me wanna fart in my hand and throw it in your face! *anger*
The worst ones for me are the relationship updates??? PLEASE JUST LEAVE IT BLANK! honestly we don't care if u are single, married or open! every minute your popping up in my updates when im trying to spy on other peoples personal business i.e (what friends me and a next buff ting have in common) it just gets me angry! *takes one of his pills*
I mean if you and your dirty lover are going through hard times and you don't know why let me tell you... BECAUSE YOU ARE ON FACEBOOK TOO MUCH! that is why! up on there sharing your business with us all looking for sympathy when what you friends should really be doing is telling you to go call Jeremy kyle cos facebook is not a chat show!
So please we warned if i catch you updating too much i will delete you... status should be nothing but juicy gossip.. like your mum is cheating on your dad and u need advice? or u did a number 2 in a links house and had to use the brush to push the heavy log down! that's what we wanna b hearing!
Oh and lastly another thing that you lot really tick me off with... is this text talking... like "s3xy" i mean you have taken the timeout to use the "3" why not just put the "e" what is wrong with you?? really? its not sexy, or cute! Any male or female that finds that attractive is an immigrant! YES I SAID IT! your not legal so get off my facebook... better still take your fake beige passport and papers and get out of my country! hahahahaha..... I'm joking... you can stay... just pay taxes like i do!
OK so HE and SHE have ranted....
you have all been warned!
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Intro from Him & Her
Well well well.... i will introduce myself.. I will be known as HIM and she may refer to herself as HER. Was really against this whole blog thing as i saw it as way for people to seek attention or go on about something that we really didnt want to read about! But then i got talking to "her" and we decided that we would start this joint blog... it will have everything you can imagine in there... PAST, PRESENT and FUTURE! Personal life, celeb life, other peoples dirty laundry (including friends and family) hahahaha! although in some cases names will be changed!
We aint interested in politics (unless its juicey) and we can have a right old chinwag about it! We will try to keep you all laughing and smiling as much as possible but bare with us as this is all new!
We aint interested in politics (unless its juicey) and we can have a right old chinwag about it! We will try to keep you all laughing and smiling as much as possible but bare with us as this is all new!
Following on from HIM, allow me to introduce myself.. I will be known as HER and for those lucky enough to know my real name get over it if we talk about you in this blog! Like HIM, I too was against writing a blog as they are so predictable and boring. (my lovely friend Christiana however, is the the original gangsteress of blogs). I hope you enjoy reading the madness we will produce and remember FEEDBACK is not welcomed! lol xxxx
Just kidding
Anyway we have gone on enough.... He and She will return REAL SOON
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